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While the distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) can cause problems in many areas of adult life, these symptoms can be particularly damaging when it comes to your closest relationships.
If you’re the person with ADHD, you may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, nagged, and micromanaged.
For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued.
You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to others. Even when a person with ADHD is paying attention, he or she may later forget what was promised or discussed.
Acknowledge the impact your behavior has on your partner.
If you’re the one with ADHD, it’s important to recognize how your untreated symptoms affect your partner.
The first step in turning your relationship around is learning to see things from your partner’s perspective.The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. Once you are able to identify how the symptoms are ADHD are influencing your interactions as a couple, you can learn better ways of responding.