Expecting who you are dating to be monogamous
Or perhaps you’re someone who has been happily monogamous for years but now you’re feeling the need for variety. A lot of people who know that they’re bad at monogamy – or who aren’t interested in it in the first place – will frequently hide this fact from their prospective partners; they’re thinking (correctly) that this is going to be an immediate deal breaker to a sizable number of potential dates and therefore they should keep it to themselves until the other person is emotionally invested and will thus have a harder time objecting.Can you be non-monogamous without being an asshole who cheats on his or her significant other? I really hope I don’t have to explain just how shitty this behavior is, but just in case: it’s incredibly shitty. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. So today it’s time to talk about a tricky subject: monogamy.Hell, there have been studies that suggest that humans have goddamn Once again: this is strictly a strictly value-neutral observation.The fact that monogamy is not our natural state does not mean that monogamy is inherently bad or a poor choice, nor am I saying that it is one way or the other. And for some people, monogamy is a poor choice, the sexual equivalent to trying to shove a bear into a tutu and trying to make it dance.A couple – or triad or several involved people – may switch between them repeatedly.For some, it’s a case of just not dating anyone exclusively, leaving both parties free to date – or bang – anyone they see fit.
Side note: This doesn’t necessarily mean that there can’t be uneven degrees of openness if both parties agree to it, or that both parties have to partake in the full spectrum of what’s allowed.You are lying to someone about who you are and what you have to offer, and a lie of omission (“Well, the subject never came up…”) is still a lie.I’ve found that it’s best to establish early on – that is, sex – whether or not exclusivity is on the table for the future.The penis’ flared head acts like a squeegie inside the vaginal canal, scraping out seminal fluid from a competitor.
Men who believe that there is a that their partner has had sex with another man will actually produce a greater volume of ejaculate in order to flush out a competitor’s sperm.
We’ve talked about monogamy before and why it’s not our natural state, but it’s worth addressing again.