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20-May-2020 06:51

It weighed 10 pounds and held 20 messages on a reel-to-reel tape.

Sadly, most people who use answering machines or voice mail have the standard greeting of, "Hi, this is ____. Leave a message and I'll get back to you." Isn't that boring?

I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Listen to our hilarious examples of just how easy it is to weasel our way into your private message in the video below. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Thank you for calling 217-2962. like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey. If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming, non-urgent. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. (Loud sounds of a massive battle; calm voice:) Hello! (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! (Sounds of struggle in background, and voice heard through a gag.) I should know. But leave your name and number, and he'll return your call if he manages to get free.

If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Due to the breakdown in the 452nd truce, the inhabitants of village 286-3589 are cowering in their bomb shelters. And speaking of things that are not free, we now have this word from our sponsor... If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.

The web OS software assets will find their way into the arms, however welcoming, of its Office of Strategy and Technology.

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After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer. Leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished brushing our teeth. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. We are at Vespers and therefore answering other calls, but if you will leave your name, number, and a brief message, we will consider breaking our vow of silence to return your call. To facilitate our investigation, we would appreciate you leaving your name, number, a brief message, and any affiliations you may have made now, or in the past, with communist or terrorist organizations. (In the background can be heard springs creaking and various moans; husky, soft female voice is best:) Hi... [Voice 2] These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. so, lea a messeg and we deliver straigt to you pants.

Hewlett-Packard will apparently need close to two months to start fulfilling backorders for the (temporarily) revived Touch Pad tablet."It will take 6-8 weeks to build enough HP Touch Pads to meet our current commitments, during which time your order will then ship from this stock with free ground shipping," read an email sent to customers and reprinted in a Sept. "You will receive a shipping notification with a tracking number once your order has shipped."That would place the new Touch Pads in consumers' hands sometime in either late October or early November.