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I need to bury the two dead backpackers I have in the spare room as the smell is starting to attract suspicion. It is a fairly large job as one of the backpackers is American and will therefore require a hole several sizes larger than normal.

On the plus side, the other is from England which obviously means no dental records.

I could hire one of those mini bobcat tractors for the day but will probably just let the children out for a game of 'best digger gets food this week'.

I am sick of hearing "I want my parents" and "Please don't lock me in the spare room again, it smells funny" but many hands, no matter how small, make light work.

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At any given time, there are thousands of MILFs broadcasting their live xxx cams and putting on shows for an audience.I would prefer to play either a black professor or an Asian bus driver. From: Michael Harding Date: Sunday 28 February 2010 10.26am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Censorship I suggest you spend the time deleting the page as you have been requested to do rather than writing about dead backpackers.From: David Thorne Date: Sunday 28 February 2010 2.02pm To: Michael Harding Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Censorship Dear Mike, My apologies for not getting back to you earlier, I was busy torching my vehicle.I am also experienced in self defence and recently built a moat.

Sometimes, I dress as a French mime and pretend to walk against a strong wind to the delight of those around me. This skill would obviously come in quite useful during police stealth operations.

Due to restrictive Australian gun laws, I do not have much experience with weapons but I did construct my own bazooka when I was about ten using a length of pipe, a securely tightened end cap, a golf ball and a three to one ratio of chlorine & brake fluid.